We've been there too, Beyonce...

We've been there too, Beyonce...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

We are the Riders of Brohan!

One thing that makes us laugh is "Bro" culture.  Somehow, without anyone really noticing, somebody replaced all the gentlemen...or men in general...with "bros".  I don't know when it happened, but they're everywhere!

Kait and I were standing in line to get into a club at Salt Lake.  I was shivering with cold when I heard someone say "Dude! Bro! What are you doing here?"

Another person answered "Bro! We're just chilling here!"

I laughed because...maybe they were being ironic, and turned around.  Sure enough, these were genuine "bros".  Polo shirts, gelled hair, plaid shorts, popped collars.  And they were everywhere! I feel like I can't go anywhere without bumping into one.  You can't go country dancing without it turning into a bro-down...a total brodeo.  You can't go to the mall without a swarm of them flooding out of the Abercombie, Ralph Lauren, and Lacoste outlets.

At dances they're constantly shouting for the new "J.T. album" or some Jack Johnson, Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, or Oasis.  They're watching you with their fellow bros ("wingmen" in bro-speak), waiting to swoop in with their popped collars and grind up against you like your only dream that night was for a gelled up stranger to dry hump you.

I can't even go to the gym in peace anymore, it was one of the first places to fall to the bros.  Yes, I'm sweaty, tired, and wearing my still cute but altogether less attractive work out clothes.  The last thing I want is to get hit on by bros offering to "spot me"/look down my sports bra.  

Kait and I love to drop bro words into conversations with bros just to see if they catch on that we're making fun of them.  We were brainstorming some new ones on the way home from class once.

"Settle down, Broseph Stalin," I told her in my best bro accent.

"Here's lookin' at you, Humphrey Brogart," she answered.

This went on like that for some time but then she trumped it all by standing up proudly and shouting

"We...are the Riders of Brohan!"

To the Dave Matthews concert!

I cracked up! Hands down the best Bro line of all time.

Looking for images of bros online I came across a video that I thought I'd share to raise bro-wareness of a rising problem.  

What about you? Are we the only ones to notice that all the men have been vanished and replaced by bros, trapped in a state of eternal fratboy-hood?  What brorror stories do you have?



  1. I keep feeling like I'm at the stage where guys are going to grow up, be mature, stop playing games...

    It's not happening.

  2. In addition to repenting for the LolliLand Primary Pres comment, you also need to repent for that video. MY TENDER EARS AND EYES, McKenna!

    I am Kaitlin Young, and I did not endorse that message.

  3. I know its not a pleasant subject, but if we keep ignoring it, the problem will only get worse. Think of all the bros out there who are victims. Only 1 in 7 get reported, Kait!

  4. I was cracking up reading this! I've heard a lot of this "bro" culture but mostly through movies. I haven't encountered too many "brosephs" in Michigan. lol I'm sure if I did, I'd sprain my eyeballs from some fierce rolling.

  5. I like to refer to them as "she bro's". UVU is full of them. That video was disturbing.

  6. hahaha
    SO true, WHY oh why is "bro" necessary?
    it cracks me up when they say "bra" instead

  7. C'est La Vie: I know, right? That's like if I was like 'what's up, jockstrap?' to Kait.

    Elizabeth: Glad they haven't spread to Michigan yet. Maybe I should move...

    Taren: She bros! Where did that term come from? Maybe because they say 'bra' so much?

    JennyMac: Haha..the video's a bit risque but I couldn't resist. Maybe I should've put a parental guidance warning on it :P

  8. I hafta say when I clicked on this blog it was way different than I expected... Haha I also hafta say that I feel kinda gay for reading as much as I have... My buddy showed me a blog the other day (first blog I've really read through) and somehow it led me to this one... I clicked on this one thinking I'd get a kick outta stereotypical "BYU coed" sisters... Not that the blog would actually be funny! Although that video almost made me throw up, I wish I had some girls like you in my singles ward down here, bra... Haha keep 'em comin

  9. i was so shocked by this video. I had no idea these poor bro's were being raped. I just thought they were either gender or sexually confused. Thank you for opening my eyes to this terror. Stay strong BRO's!!!!


  10. Anonymous-for all you know, we could be in your ward. Haha! Welcome; we're glad to have you!

    Superstarch- It's shocking but true!

  11. Well thank you... I guess that's true, but from what I gather you guys go to BYU... If you're commuting from St George then you guys are dedicated!