We've been there too, Beyonce...

We've been there too, Beyonce...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Riding in cars with boys

So, I'm home in Oregon for the next few weeks before the Summer semester starts, and before I leave I started talking to a guy that I dated way back when. We went on maybe two dates, but he broke it off and told me I was clingy, etc...because I saw him at church and sat next to him. I also got pissed that he flirted with some other girl, who I later found out was his ex-girlfriend, while I was standing right next to him. Yeah, he was a class act.

Why I answered my phone when he called again, I don't know. But anyway, he seemed different than when I knew him back then, so I told him we could go on another date when I got back from my parents'. I figured maybe he'd call or send a message a couple times before I got back and leave it at that.

Oh no. He's been calling me everyday for the past week. I even told him not to call when he said that he would call me the next day. He keeps calling. And we don't really know each other well enough to talk everyday for extended amounts of time.

He even offered to buy a plane ticket and drive back with me to Provo when I come back. I'm pretty sure he bought it before he even asked, and I just hope it's refundable.

The call that takes the cake was last night, though. Since I had run out of things to say to him, I blurted out that I really wanted a corndog. He wasn't picking up on my hints that I wanted to go look for one and stop talking... From there, he starts talking about ketchup. He said that it was a solid. I pause for a second...

"No, it's not. It's a liquid with little bits of tomato in it."

"No, you're wrong. It's a solid."

"Uh...I can look it up on my phone right now. I guarantee you it's a liquid." I looked it up. It's a liquid with little bits of tomato...just like I said. I didn't gloat or anything I just confirmed that it's liquid.

"Okay, know-it-all."

"Did you really just call me a know-it-all?" He tries to laugh it off like he was just joking, but I could tell his man-pride was injured.  I'm sickened at this point.

"I'm Kait, and I know everything! Hahaha!" Ugh.

He changes the subject to when I come back to Provo and all the stuff he's already planned for us to do. I just got sicker. I explain that I'm signed up for classes, and I'm going to have lots of work to do, and plus, I'm getting ready to apply for an out-of-state internship in the Fall. He starts freaking out. He sounds like he's going to cry.

"You mean you're only going to be in Provo for a couple months?!"

"Yeah, maybe. Nothing is for sure."

He starts grilling me with questions about all the details of me possibly leaving, then he starts demanding that I get an internship in Utah.

My answer: NO

"Uh...just to let you know, you and I are not in a relationship. You don't dictate my life choices to me. As a matter of fact, I don't even know you well enough to be talking to you everyday on the phone. I sure as heck don't know you well enough to ride in car trapped with you all day on a road trip. Oh, PS...it was ME who was clingy?! I don't think so!"

Click, I hung up.

Seriously, WTF?!


  1. That's very odd. Maybe he's almost reaching the dreaded age of 25 and needs to get married STAT.

    By the way, I hate reconnecting with people whom you have already dated. It's always weird.

  2. You don't ask the chef for the soup with the hair in it after you already sent it back.

    I think you need to come back to Utah but for a different reason than Captain Co-dependant. You need your blunt roommate to tell off your creepy stalkers :) MISS YOU!

  3. ...That is uber bizarre. He actually bought you a plane ticket?!

    Your stories astound me. What a weirdie. Did you actually tell him off? I always want to, but never actually do it. Way to go!

  4. Dudes a stalker you need, you should be screening his calls and under no circumstances should you ride anywhere with him, especially on a long roadie, didn't your Mama tell you about getting in cars with strangers. Maybe I watch too much snapped, lock up raw, and women behind bars, but all those stories seem to start with somebody getting in somebody elses car that they really don't know to well.

  5. i hope you really did say that, word for word. the boy needs to hear it.

  6. "Anyone can have a day
    When their heart is on their sleeve
    No one wants to see it our way
    Can't agree to disagree
    You'd think it'd be easier
    But it feels like you just can't win
    But somehow we'll make it work
    Cause we deserve it- you know we're worth it"

    Kait, send us an email singleswardysa@gmail.com and we'll chat about this guest writer thing.

  7. Oh you better believe I told it to him straight! I was actually a little surprised at myself after I hung up the phone.

    Hey Sistas! You know what show I love? COPS! There's some classic moments on that show.

    Claire-He bought the ticket, for reals! Unbelievable.

    Jules- I'm pretty sure he just turned 26. Shoulda been the first early warning sign.

    McKenna- Sure you don't want to drive up for a weekend. My mom makes a mean batch of oatmeal cookies...

  8. Do you think Sgt. Stalker would buy ME a plane ticket to go visit you? Not that a road trip wouldn't be SO worth it for those oatmeal cookies..

  9. Wait, I didn't comment on this? I read it awhile ago and thought I commented on it. I thought about it at church this Sunday because guys are SO weird at church. I can't tell you how many times I've gone out with a guy then had him ignore me at church. Then call me or email me that week like nothing weird had happened. I think it's cool that you went and sat by him. Weird that he thought it was clingy.

  10. Yeah, I really don't get it. On what level is it okay to completely blow off the girl you just went out with the night before and expect her to want to go out with you again? I understand the not wanting to make it overkill, but it's perfectly fine to say hi or make small talk for a few minutes.

  11. Dude's not a stalker. There's a few jewels missing from his crown, but come on, you know you just put a time limit on when he proposes.

    Until that last bit before click, all your signs were still pointed forward to this guy, talk about food and you draw him in closer. Just hope he's not as persistent as Wile E Coyote, where instead of using his animal senses, he uses absurd contraptions and elaborate plans to pursue his quarry. That road trip sure sounded like Wile E.